Four-year-old Davey pressed his face against the living room window and searched the sky. His warm breath created a foggy haze on the cold glass and obscured the reflection of the Christmas tree that decorated the cheery room. Close to the fireplace, his grandmother, Virginia Collins, sat in her rocking chair, knitting a sweater. The soft clickity-clack of the needles created a steady rhythm to which the yellow and orange flames beyond the hearth danced. The roaring fire provided a warm respite from the snowy outdoors.

Davey turned away from the window--his eyes aglow. "Grammy, how will Santa know I'm at your house?"
 
His excited smile warmed Virginia's heart. She stilled her metal rods and answered. "He knows because Santa is magic."
 
Davey's eyes lit up and he scamper to her side. "Will he bring me what I wished for? Will he?"
 
"Yes, if you hurry up to bed. Tomorrow is Christmas Eve and he's probably watching you this very minute."
 
Davey's eyes grew wider. "Like in the song where Santa's makin' a list of who's naughty or nice?"
 
"Just like that Davey, so you'd better skedaddle upstairs."
 
She put her knitting aside, held is cherub cheeks between her hands and planted a kiss on his forehead. "Good night, my little angel."
 
"Good night, Grammy. You'd better go to bed too if you want to be on Santa's good list."
 
She chuckled. "I will, Davey. I just have one more row to finish, then off to bed I go."

>>> Virginia lay in her plump feather bed and gazed out the window. The heavens sparkled like the festive holiday lights that decorated her front porch. One star in particular caught her attention--it twinkled twice as brightly as the others.
 
Outside, the silhouette of the snow-covered branches against the winter sky reminded her of past Christmas' spent with her loving husband. Although Al was Jewish, he never complained about her love for the Christian holiday. His respect for his own religion certainly didn't preclude him from receiving presents and loving it. As she recalled the childlike way he searched under the tree for packages with his name on them, she smiled.

Christmas was her favorite time of the year. The family gathered and put aside the stresses of life to celebrate together. Always, there was a festive pine in the parlor, beautifully decorated and topped with a huge star. Beneath the tree rested a myriad of colorful packages, and even though everyone always vowed to wait until Christmas morning to open them, somehow they never made it through Christmas Eve. With a flurry of paper and bows, the magic of the holiday came alive, but for a short period of time.

Christmas day was always reserved for enjoying the bounty of delicious food that was lovingly prepared. Those were the good times.

Everything had changed. Christmas had somehow lost its meaning as one-by-one beloved family members departed. First her father had died. How she missed him. He had always been her hero--hardworking, gentle and under appreciated. He died from a terrible disease that took his mind and dignity. His passing left behind a crippling guilt that plagued Virginia everyday. Could she have done things differently? Would he still be alive had she not put him in the nursing home?

Then her beloved husband suffered a fatal heart attack. She had known his time was limited because of his diminishing health, but still that didn't numb the horrific pain of finding him dead on the den floor. Would he still be alive if she had insisted he go to the doctor that day instead of accepting his promise that he would go "tomorrow" if he didn't feel better? At least, she found some solace in knowing she had told him she loved him before she went to bed that fateful night.

Although Virginia had two brothers, they relied on her to care for their mother, and she did. Having another occupant in the house filled the void left by Al's passing, but still there was an emptiness in her heart. When she and her mother occasionally dined out together, Virginia couldn't help notice all the couples her own age, enjoying their time together. Anger always simmered just below the surface. Sure, death was a certainly in life, but why was her husband taken so young? There would be no happy retirement, no golden anniversary, no growing old together. Just fleeting memories overshadowed by gnawing guilt and ire.

When Virginia's mom succumbed to heart failure, Virginia was truly alone for the first time in her life. As she reflected on her mother's life, she wondered if her mom had ever been truly happy. Her life certainly had never been easy and she always seemed to be longing for something more. Maybe, just maybe, she would find the peace of mind in death that she never found in life.

Virginia's children were grown and gone, but one good thing remained... Davey! She cherished the time spent with her grandson and kept him as often as he could. He was the one ray of sunshine in her life, and although she was angry with God, she fought to maintain her faith for Davey's sake.

With palms pressed together beneath her chin, Virginia repeated her nightly prayer, "Dear Lord, please help me to find forgiveness in my heart and help me to understand why things happen the way they do. I know you have a plan for everything and I ask you to especially watch over Davey. Keep him safe, and please, please help me to teach him right from wrong. Amen."

Virginia stared at the brightest star until her eyelids grew heavy and she drifted into a much-needed sleep.

>>> Davey was up and in front of the television when Virginia came downstairs. "Good morning, angel. Are you hungry?" She already knew what he wanted.
 
"Can I have French toast?"
 
She smiled at his predictability. "Coming right up. Turn off the TV, wash up and come to the table."
 
He hurried to the bathroom and reappeared shortly, ambling into the kitchen wiping his hands on his pant legs. He climbed into his usual chair.
 
"Today is Christmas Eve, huh Grammy? And... Santa is bringing my presents here?"
 
She placed his plate in front of him and took a seat at the table next to him. "Yes, darling boy, Santa is coming here as long as you've been a good boy. And you have been, haven't you? She teased.
 
Davey chewed on his bottom lip, pondering her question. "Well, most of the times I be good. Will Grandpa be back tonight?"
 
Virginia's heart ached. She wasn't sure how to make Davey understand that his Grandpa wouldn't ever be coming back. At four, David didn't understand death. The funeral held no meaning for him, and with a closed-casket, he didn't have to see his grandfather's lifeless body.
 
She watched Davey savor his toast and wiped a tear from her leathered cheek. Now was as good a time as any to tell him. She put her elbow on the table, rested her chin on her palm and took a deep breath.
 
"Davey, Grammy has to help you understand something very important."
 
He held his ford mid-bite. "Unnerstand what, Grammy?"
 
"Well, sweetheart, sometimes bad things happen to good people, and something happened to Grandpa."
 
Davey licked a drop of syrup from his finger. A puzzled look appeared on his face and he cocked his head and waited for her to explain.
 
"Davey, Grandpa has gone to heaven. Do you understand what that means?"
 
"Did he have an assident? Like when I feel down and made a booboo on my knee? Mommy said that was an assident."
 
She swallowed the lump she felt form in her throat. "Yes, that was. But, Grandpa was sick for such a long time. Finally, God took him to his home where he wouldn't hurt anymore. You see, there's no pain in heaven."
 
Davey's little mouth turn downward in a childish pout. "He wuddn't go away without telling me. He'll come back Grammy."
 
Virginia reached across and ruffled Davey's hair. "I wish he could, sweetheart, oh how I wish he could."
 
She took another deep breath. "Finish your breakfast and go wash your hands again."

>>> Davey stood at the window, watching the light flurries add to the blanket of snow on the ground. His chin thumped against the plate glass as he looked skyward. "Grammy, how does Santa find his way in that great big sky?"
 
Virginia continued rocking, and without missing a stitch in her knitting, she glanced up. "He follows the stars, just like the three Wise Men did."
 
"What free wise men?"
 
She laid her knitting aside and patted her lap. "Come here, Davey. I have a story to tell you."
 
Davey crawled onto her lap and laid his head against her shoulder.
 
"My goodness, Davey. You're almost too big for me to hold." She began to rock. "A long time ago, a son was born to God."
 
"You mean God that lives in the sky?" Davey interrupted.
 
"That's right. Baby Jesus was born in a stable. Do you know what a stable is?"
 
"No, Grammy."
 
"Well, it's where animals are kept. Kind of like the barn on Old McDonald's Farm--the song you like to sing. When baby Jesus was born, there was no room inside for him so he had to sleep in a bed filled with straw... a manager. God was so happy, he wanted everyone to know that his son was born so they could bring him gifts and honor him. So God lit the biggest and brightest star in the sky, right over the stable where baby Jesus lay. The three Wise Men were the first to come bearing gifts."
 
Davey glanced up at his grandmother. "Did Baby Jesus have to be good to get gifts, Grammy?"
 
"Yes, Davey. Baby Jesus was good from the beginning--the moment he was born. God sent him to us to make us better people--make us stop being naughty. When Jesus grew up, he even died to take away all the bad things we had done."
 
"How did he do that?"
 
Virginia knew he wouldn't understand the crucifixion and the reasons behind it. She thought for a moment.
 
"Well... it's like Santa Claus when he keeps track of good and bad girls and boys. He probably erases a bad mark for every good thing you do. By giving his life, Jesus saved us--made us good."
 
"Are we good, Grammy? Did Jesus rase all our bad marks like Santa?"
 
She thought about the nightly news...murders, rapes, thefts, war. "No Davey, not all the time. We try to be, but somehow we just can't get it right. There are too many weak people in this world. Bad things still happen, even in the name of God. People still die."
 
Little Davey looked at her with hardened eyes. "I hate God! He took away my Grandpa."
 
Virginia pulled Davey closer to her chest and hugged him tightly. Resting her chin on top of his curly blond locks, she continued to rock.
 
"Don't hate, Davey, don't hate. It only makes you mean and bitter. We have to learn to forgive each other like Jesus forgave us. Only God can decide when it is our time to go... and why, I'll bet your grandpa is looking down from heaven on us right now and is so proud of what a good boy you are."
 
Davey looked to the ceiling. "Can he really see me, Grammy?"
 
Another tear slid down her cheek, and not wanting Davey to see it, she quickly brushed it away. Her voice cracked with stifled emotion, "I think so Davey, but we won't know until we get to heaven?"
 
"Can I go to heaven now? I really miss Grandpa a whole lot."
 
"She shook her head. "Not yet, Davey. God put you here for a reason and it's not your time. You'll get there someday, and your Grandpa... and even your great grandparents will be waiting for you. But right now, you need to enjoy being a little boy and looking forward to Christmas."
 
Davey seemed satisfied with her answer and leaned his head back against her chest.
 
She went on with her story. "God wanted there to be peace on earth and for all people to be good to each other, and Jesus tried to teach us that. Somehow we just didn't learn the lesson."
 
Still cuddled against her, Davey asked, "Grammy, will Santa really bring me what I asked for?
 
She smiled, wondering if he even understood the meaning of her story.
 
"Yes, Davey... within reason. Why?"
 
"Cause, I want to change my mind. Is it too late?"
 
"Too late for what?" She puzzled.
 
"I asked Santa for a bike, but now I want something else."
 
"What else, baby?"
 
Little Davey straightened and looked at his grandmother with his big brown eyes. "I'd rather have him bring peace on earth."
 
Virginia pulled him close again and hugged him. "My sweet, Davey. You are so precious--my gift from God. You'll get your bicycle, but you can help change things, too. Just remember to keep the feeling of Christmas in your heart all year long. Treat everyone like you would like to be treated... and just maybe someday we will have peace on earth."
 
Continuing to rock with Davey in her arms, she began to hum, Silent Night. After a short time, Davey's small body relaxed, telling her he was asleep. He was too heavy for her to lift and she didn't want to wake him, so she continued to rock. She rested her cheek against the top of his head--enjoying his "little boy" smell, and dozed.

>>> Virginia opened her eyes. How long had she slept? Her legs ached from holding Davey, and the arm supporting him was numb. She scanned the mantel for the clock--it was after midnight.
 
Wondering if it still snowed, she peered across the room and out the window. It had stopped and the night was crystal clear. In the distance, that same lone star twinkled vividly in the winter sky. Suddenly, it brightened--etching paths of light through the darkness and clearly illuminating the blanket of snow below.
 
Like a developing fog, a misty image formed before Virginia's eyes. The figure of an angel, bathed in luminescent rays, floated right outside her window and seemed to look directly at her. Instantly, she felt as if Al's loving arms embraced her and a voice whispered to her that everything was all right. He was free of pain and young again--the happy person she remembered before the illness changed him--the Al she loved.
 
He told her that her parents were in heaven, then described what a beautiful place it was. Together, they would all wait to welcome her home when her time came to join them. But the most important message he imparted to her was that she still had many years to spend on God's beautiful earth and she should enjoy them to the fullest. A familiar kiss brushed against her lips and a feeling of contentment washed over her.
 
Virginia's faith in God was instantly reaffirmed. Just as she'd prayed, her departed loved ones were happy and well... and she still had many years left. She wasn't going to waste them being eaten up with guilt and anger. Not anymore! The things that had happened were God's call... not hers. All traces of remorse magically vanished.
 
Within seconds, the spiritual vision faded from sight, the brightness waned and a light snow began to fall. Still enjoying the feeling of warmth and comfort, Virginia wasn't sure if she was awake or dreaming, but she knew in her heart she had just received a miraculous message from beyond. The good Lord was in heaven and all was right with the world, even if only for the moment. After all, it was Christmas Day and a time to celebrate not to mourn? She glanced down at Davey's angelic face, deep in sleep, and whispered, "Merry Christmas, my darling boy. Grandpa sends his love."

This story was dedicated with love and affection to those who wait for us:
Frank Allen Poole
Minnie Myrtle Poole
Alfred Leon Pomerantz

Romance author, Ginger Simpson currently resides in Tennessee with her husband and biggest fan, Kelly. Since the publication of her first book, Prairie Peace, in May 2003, she has added three more books and three published novellas to her list of accomplishments. Her newest adventure in life is becoming a corrections officer for White County and qualifying with a 45 caliber Smith & Wesson revolver. Being a gun-totin’ granny is bound to give her more fodder for future works. You can read about Ginger and her books at http://www.gingersimpson.com.
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This article Copyright ©2004 - Ginger Simpson. Reproduced with permission.